So, I've decided to steal a survey from Patty because I like answering obscure questions rather than actually TALKING about anything.
What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with?
That's easy. Michael.
What kind of underwear are you wearing right now and what color?
Underwear? Ha. I'm not wearing pants, and I'm most definitely not wearing underwear. But earlier today, it was VS cheeky pants, in red.
What is the song you want played at your funeral?
Hmm...how gothic. I'm debating between "Blackbird" by the Beatles, or "Proud" by Heather Small. I figure that should cover my ultra-conservative family and my ultra-liberal friends pretty nicely.
What would your last meal be before being executed?
Um, I suppose fresh semen isn't on the menu, so I'd probably go with my mom's pork steak. Yummy yum yum.
Beatles or Stones?
The Beatles. I've never been much of a fan of the Rolling Stones. Sue me. But I do think John Lennon was brilliant.
If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who would it be?
Fred Phelps. And I'd like to see him sodomized in hell. Can I order my tickets for that online, or do I have to go to a ticketmaster?
The person whose problems you'd never like to hear again?
Oh, there are so many! Probably my coworker, Whitney, mostly because everything she says is a lie, and because we had a major fight at work today because she decided not to go to the first day of class, and I told her not to come crying to me when she didn't understand how to do something. I digress. I'm getting bitchy in my old age.
What is the most important physical quality of the opposite sex?
Lips. Lips, lips, lips. Also, the lips. Did I mention how I feel about lips?
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
I want to be able to fly. Think about it, no more traffic jams on Nicholasville Road! Can I get a woo-woo?
Favorite hangover cure?
It used to be Tylenol 3, but my prescription ran out for it. Now I'd have to say...some Aleve and some wheat thins.
How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?
I'm not justifying this with an answer. Yes I am. Somewhere between 2 and 10. I don't know why I'm so inconsistent.
Favorite Outkast Lyric?
Um...One-Nine-Nine-Nine...if you guess the origin, you win a prize.
Hair color you'd most like someone you're dating to have?
Is voluntarily bald considered a true hair color? I just want to sit on a bald head. naked. Just once. Am I asking too much?
If you had to be blind or deaf?
Deaf. I use my sight more often, I think. Also, I'm a visual learner, so I'd be fucked in school if I were blind. I guess that would make me a tactile learner?
Do you have any psychiatric problems?
Um, excessive fear of failure. Panic disorder. Anxiety Disorder not otherwise specified. Occasional disthymia. I'm terrified of getting a personality disprder someday, so I think THAT in itself should qualify as a psychiatric disorder.
Siblings that should go to rehab?
Nah, unless you consider the fact that my sister Katie would rather be with a total jackass than be alone. But I don't know that the Betty Ford clinic offers rehab in that field.
Least favorite month?
God, that's such a toss-up between November, December, January, February, and usually part of March. I loathe this bitter cold.
First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
Hrm, E.T. I think. But my parents had to take me out of the theater because I started screaming when the government came after him. See? Even at an early age, I feared democracy.
Favorite person in the whole world?
Definitely my mom.
When's the last time you went on a date?
I'm defining a "date" as "conning someone into going to some event with you, even though they have no desire whatsoever to go, and you offer to buy many drinks to make up for the pain and suffering." With my operational definition as such, I'm going with...December 27th.
Do you like violent movies or dirty movies?
Dirty. Violence generally puts me to sleep.
Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
I don't know. Probably some winner I met at a club one night. They all run together. oh! Also, Tiny. DO we remember Tiny?
If you are straight, which person of the same sex would you sleep with?
I'm gonig to pretend that I'm 100% straight, although I don't think anyone is that straight. Anyway, I'm going with Ali. She's one of the grad students. Shut up. I like getting crushes on girls who are straighter than I.
Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle?
In the Fag Hag hall of fame.
Who is the person you can count on most?
I guess my mom again. I'm not usually consistent enough to count on myself. If you could date any celebrity, past or present, time and age not a factor, who would it be?
That's such a toss-up between gale Harold and Humphrey Bogart, I can't make a decision.
What books have you pretended you've read?
Almost anything by Ernest Hemingway or Thomas Hardy. Except for Jude the Obscure and A Farewell to Arms.
What's a word you would use to describe your life?
Busy. Busy, busy, busy.
What did you dream last night?
I don't know. Probably that Casey did something to piss me off. That's a favorite around here. I love you, Casey!
Favorite bands?
Uh, do we even HAVE bands anymore? I tend to listen to solo artists these days. Hmm...bands. Smashing Pumpkins. Still. And, uh, Hoobastank and Linkin Park, because I haven't quite grown to hate them yet. I'm sure I will. Give it time.
So that's the end of my awesome survey. Oh, guess what? I'm asking like you can answer. Anyway.
I'm now selling Mary Kay. Why, you ask? Because I went to a seminar with Niki and fell in love with the woman talking. She reminded me so much of Chelsea Pearl from the drag show at the bar, except that her hair wasn't AS big. That, and I don't think she ever used to be a man. But I can't be certain.
Now I'm almost finally, finally out of words. - Jason Mraz
Fin.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23