I don't know if anyone else has been through what I'm dealing with right now. If you do, I am so sorry. Kidney stones are worse than childbirth. The thing is this: I'm 23 years old. This shouldn't be happening. And to be quite hoenst with you, I've never been more terrified in my whole life. Maybe it's irrational. But imagine that you know that something is seriously fucking up your body and they can't take care of it until God knows when. You have been to the emergency room twice, only to receive piss-poor medical care in time totaling 9 1/2 hours.
The only thing I want right now is to be completely around the people I call friends. I mean GOOD friends. My mom doesn't come until tomorrow, and I live alone; therefore I NEED to be with the other people I love and trust.
Yes, I'm being ridiculous. Yes, I'm being needy. But for all of the times people say, "Are you okay? Do you need anything? What can I do?" every time I actually ASK for something, I'm looked at like I have a damn foot growing out of my head.
Jesus, people, this will probably all be over soon, but what if it isn't? I'm so afraid that one of my kidneys is going to collapse.
And for the record, I think that I go out of my way to take care of everyone else when they're feeling slightly under the weather. Where is my karmic retribution, exactly?
That is all. I'm going to take some drugs and cry myself to sleep.
Fin.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23