fish!
fish!
2004-06-14
12:22 a.m.
My address was lost in the mail.

Unfortunately, in a time of trouble, one of the first things to fall by the wayside is an online journal. My apologies.

I'm still staying with Casey. According to my landlady, the local utilities company is booked solid with repairs because of the storms. So, I can't go in for at least another several weeks.

I wanted to move in early to the other place...it seemed like the best idea, but my mom is none too thrilled with this.

Most of you will probably operate under the presumption that, because I'm, you know, nearing the big two-four, I'd make these decisions by myself. Unfortunately, I don't make many decisions without consideration of how it will affect the people around me. Also, I consider grad school a kind of extended youth. Bottom line, yes, I still care very deeply what my mother has to say.

Living with someone you're sleeping with can actually put a damper on your sex life. Who knew?

I bought a t-shirt at Target that says "Chick Magnet." I think it's damn hilarious.

Oh, duh. My sister, who has reached the ripe old ago of 19, has decided in her infinite wisdom to get married. I have a difficult time respecting people who get engaged so early. I have a more difficult time respecting a decision of someone I love deeply deciding to get tied down before even having left her home town. There's also this really weird thing where I'm, oh...five years older than she is.

I'm starting to feel like Bruce (as in Almighty)...I think God forgot my address. I'm having a really difficult time carrying around happiness for other people whose lives seem to be falling into place, when all I can think about is I'm going to be homeless on my birthday.

I know, it's the strangest thing for me to continue to carry around, but I feel it very strongly. I have to go to Ft. Thomas this weekend to get fitted for a dress for my dad's wedding. I'm sure it's a matter of time before I get to endure the same ridiculous process for my sister.

I tried to talk to my dad about the way I was feeling, and he reminded me of something I had forgotten completely about...there was a time when I didn't really know WHO to believe when my parents got divorced. I wanted to live with my dad, and I remember we went out to this apartment complex and put a deposit on an apartment. I changed my mind, and he had this fit and couldn't get the money back. And I understand his anger, but was now, some fucking eleven years later, the best time to remind me? Not particularly.

I'm kind of feeling like everything I say is all wrong and everything I do is wrong in some way.

In good news, as soon as these last few pieces of sand pass through my body, the kidney stone stuff will be all gone. It's not much of a consolation, but it's a start.

That is all for now. I promise not to neglect you all for so long again.

Fin.

My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23