Does that make sense?
Lately, I've been feeling as though I'm falling apart at the seems a bit. We're required to attend a seminar on trauma every week this summer, which means that for four hours every Monday, I've had to reflect on past traumatic events. I don't care who you are, or how well-adjusted you've become, eventually memories will start to surface. To make things more difficult, we're currently seeing some kids in the clinic whose parents are involved in a custody battle that is so reminiscent of what my parents did that it's almost frightening. Suddenly I'm overloaded with memories of hiding behind a piano in the living room with my mom while my dad pried the door off its hinges, and I was terrified that if he got in, we would die.
Also, I learned that the electricity has been turned back on in my apartment. I went over there the other day and it still reeks of smoke. I was there for about 30 seconds before I started having a massive panic attack. I should know whether or not this is a normal reaction, or if I've reached a state of PTSD that needs assistance.
Eep.
I'm hoping to get my things back on track soon.
My apologies to anyone who signed my guestbook lately. For some bizarre reason, I'm not getting my notifications anymore about people signing. Nuts to that.
I'm moving in two weeks. Note to self: Find. Boxes. Now.
My goal for the evening: finish my midnight snack of rice with sugar and do the damn dishes before the remnants of last Sunday's dinner eats me in my sleep.
Fin.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23