I began looking online at some alternate psychology programs and realized that EKU has a Master's program in clinical psychology, which I had wanted to do all along, but the only programs I could find were always Ph.D., and I wasn't quite prepared to make that long of a commitment.
It might seem as though I'm running away. I know one of my professors sees that as my primary defense mechanism, although I really do not. I've been thinking a lot about what I went through over the past 2 years. Here I am, just weeks away from a degree, and I truly don't think that I or any of my classmates deserve it. The program is a complete mess. During the first semester there, all students take a course in basic introductory counseling. What a fucking joke. There were nearly 30 grad students in this class. They let EVERYONE in. And the professor needs Ritalin worse than my mother and I combined. What's worse is that, during the last couple of classes, we had to fill out course and instructor evaluations. I was ready to speak out and so were several other people, when he remarked, "You can write whatever you want. It won't affect my career, since I have tenure." He's saying that we could have an opinion, but it won't matter. What a GREAT way to demonstrate the power of change.
I don't know anything about helping someone with depression or anxiety, schizophrenia, sexuality, or trauma. We are expected to learn how to do everything from books written many years ago by OTHER famous counselors. Our classes have become nothing more than an opportunity to share too much informations about our personal and family lives, and discussing social and political issues. While it's been intriguing, certainly, it hasn't taught me what I need to know. Not only that, but the clinic alone did things that were illegal and unethical on more than one occasion. Between the alterations of records, and leaving the clinic in the care of students who didn't even have Master's degrees yet or any semblance of adequate training for at least a month during the summer. It's wrong, period.
Additionally, I still will never understand why the attention was brought to me, when there was a girl in the program who was not only completely unfit for interperesonal interaction, but she was an active cutter. That is a HUGE ethical violation. I decided to get the fuck out of there before the program crashes and burns. I don't want to have to defend why my degree is worthwhile 10 years down the road. Plus, I can't imagine being a part of a program centered about the belief that you CAN get better, and defeat mental illness, and yet the faculty won't entertain the idea that a graduate student - one who is highly grounded and insightful, cannot possibly recover without dropping out for a while. I feel like the just wanted me out of there.
Casey begged me to remain in a counseling program. I think I will, in that clinical psychology still deals with treating people, but it also involves doing research on and working with people with more severe problems. And with the pharmaceutical companies running everything, and determining who gets what medication (recently, EVERYONE and their buddy has been diagnosed as bipolar. I firmly believe that the surge in this diagnosis is the fact that head honchos who sell zyprexa are pushing it left and right), it is my responsibility as a counselor to know and understand therapeutic and medicinal treatments for many mental illness, rather then depression caused by being oppresed within society.
I'm still a feminist, but I need to be an educated feminist.
Tonight I went to a law banquet with Casey. He was named to the most recent editorial board for the law journal from UK. I was so deliriously proud of him that all I wanted to do was sit on his lap and hug him the whole time. I think the lovely folks at Spindletop (the location of the banquet) would've frowed on such thing, since the building is a salute to opulance. My boyfriend is completely amazing. I hope that I'll be able to excel once again in school so thatI will feel worthy of someone so dedicated and intelligent.
Why does Britney Spears get her own reality show? Does the phrase "overexposed-trailer-trash-ho" mean anything to you? We get it, you're a rebel. You're not a little girl anymore. Now quit it before you get all barefoot and pregnant (even though you're halfway there, you shoeless freak) and your husband leaves your ass because he met someone younger with a tighter ass.
It's sick that men like that can still bag attractive girls, simply because he's an arrogant ass.
So, I think I'm going to start a pool - does anyone want to guess how long it will be before someone "accidentally" leaks a sex tape of the two of them? I'm going to go with about three months. I'd say that after her show airs (on UPN, for Christ sakes!), interest in her stupid life will wan by that point, and they'll need something to boost the ratings, or they won't continue to make money to invest in mobile homes and leopard print underwear.
Sorry for the rant there, but those two make me sick. They just LOOK like a Lifetime movie waiting to happen.
I HAVE to get to bed. I cannot continue to be awake and alert at night and asleep all day.
Fin.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23