So, I just recieved an email from some strange person/company advertising that they will find out the backgroud of any person I want, which is the most conspiratorial, bizarre thing I've ever read. To agree to their little sceme, though, they want you to sign some contract. How the hell do I sign an online contract? Will someone please tell me? Have YOU ever tried to sign your name with a mouse? I can't even write "hi" legibly. They'd think I had a seizure.
I forgot to comment the other day on my post-op visit to Cinti Dental Services. Actually, there isn't much to say, except that Dr. Ababababa yelled at me for not doing my salt water rinse every 2 hours like I'm supposed to. Who has time for that?
So anyway, there's this woman that works there. Every time I come in, she's the one to tell me exactly how many millions I owe her that day. She's like the morbidly obese Gangsta Bitch Barbie - she don't take no crap. Not to say that there's anything wrong with being "morbidly obese," by any means - my motto is, "put it on; just make sure you adjust your wardrobe accordingly." That's not my beef with this woman. She just comes across so cold and foreboding. She's got these awful thick glasses that are very just HUGE. And the worst perm you've ever seen in your life. I think that her nine chins add to the whole effect. I guess the effect they're going for at CDC is that she makes sure you pay up. She kind of looks like that droopy-faced cartoon dog, but she's evil. She just looks like she could kill you with one fell swoop.
So the outing to see Monsters, Inc. turned into quite the family affair; as a result, we didn't end up going down to the Levee. Instead, we went someplace that was close to my grandparents' house, so that if it snowed, Grandma wouldn't have to drive that far. Somehow, an occasion that was only supposed to involve Billy, Bethany, and myself grew into Billy, Bethany, aunt Lori, uncle John, Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, and me. Everyone really loved the movie, except for my grandpa, who thought it was stupid. I'm not all that insulted as he has recently taken to watching Jerry Springer while lounging on the couch in his sweatpants. If you've been paying attention at all, you notice that Jerry Springer doesn't really fit into the interests of my family. I just find all of these people to be the most uneducated, attention-starved losers ever. If someone ever asked me to go on, I would assume that they were going to tell me they were carrying my love child. But I digress.
Bethany is at that age where she's just discovering sarcasm (she's 12. They're a little behind if you ask me), so every statement is followed by a "yeah, right" or other riveting statement. But she's precious.
I would like to share that there is a man discussing explosive diarrhea and shitting his pants on tv. Now THAT'S entertainment. Do you know that I could never work at Target, as it apparently asks on the application if you've ever had troubles controlling your bowel movements? Or maybe they'd let me work there if I promised to wear my "oops, I crapped my pants" daily.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23