See, I've decided that 2002 is the year that I have great sex. Don't ask why this entry is about sex; it just is, cause that's me and this is why you love me, people! So I figured that when I do get to finally experience the joys of this great endeavor, I don't want to blow it by sucking. I mean, here I go, lusting after all these people, and if I got right down to it, what if they thought I was no good. Then I would have messed up, royally, not due to my personality or looks or something else I can't change, but because of something I could've been working on.
So, I've decided I need a tutorial. How, exactly, I approach this issue with a male friend is yet to be seen, but perhaps it will involve much alcohol. Yeah, that'll be good, so I can forget everything I've just learned.
Maybe not.
I was thinking about asking Eric, since that seems to be all he's looking for these days anyway, but if I proceed with this plan, I shall refer to him as "Enrique" and he will be my latin lover. And while we're on the subject of him (because this seems to be on my mind a lot these days), I would just like to say that I miss our post-breakup relationship. Now that was dysfuntion spelled with a capital "D". Only I didn't spell it that way. See, after we broke up, we had this nasty habit of messing around anyway. Only then, that's not what I wanted. What I wanted was to be engaged at 15 and have a white picket fence and a family by the time I was 20. Man, have I changed.
But, seriously. Could a more perfect relationship exist between two people? He wanted to play with my hair all the time and then, occasionally when he was in the mood, you know, he would give me a patented "Eric Bauer back massage," which stayed on my back for all of one minute before hands drifted around to the front. This is what I want. I've decided (this week, anyway,) that I want someone to play with my hair and give me some lovin'. Yup. Because I don't want to mess around with jealousy and all of that garbage.
Or maybe this is the alcohol talking. Regardless, I have decided that all of my books and magazines do nothing for me. What I need is some real "hands-on" experience, so to speak.
Oh, I think Susie and I are going shopping tomorrow. She has promised to help me pick out a funky new outfit for New Year's Eve - hee hee. I'm saving the pasties for when I go "slubbing." I'm thinking about purchasing this uber-cool pair of sparkly pants that I saw the last time I was at the mall. They're a little too long for me, but so is everything I own, so I'll just wear some tall shoes and no one will be the wiser.
She has promised to do this if I promise to go shopping with her to buy some braziers also.
Speaking of underwear - well, I wasn't, really, but I am now - do you think it's in bad taste to wear leopard print undies on Christmas? See, it's not that I went out to specifically purchase these things, but there was this sale at the store. Something about buy 3 pairs and get 2 for free, and I heart bargains, so I got one of every color, and then the only other thing left was this goofy leopard stuff. I guess I could've gotten another pair of one of the other colors or something, but where's the fun in that? So, I generally only wear them on laundry day, and Christmas was my laundry day, and I HAD to. But I fear that it may have been, in it's own way, sacreligious.
A lady just wrote to me to ask about my surgery experience - not the wisdom teeth, but the gastric bypass. Yes, the truth comes out, now. I have a nine inch scar running from in between my boobs to just above my belly button. But, can I just say, that it made me so happy that someone really wanted to know about MY experience? I can't help it - being able to provide some sort of guidance for people is my "wishness." To be honest, it breaks my heart that Susan is going to go through with it, but won't talk to me about it. The only reason I even know about this is because Gina told me, assuming that I knew. Well, I don't. And I'm not going to be at all upset if she doesn't want to go the same doctor I did, but I wish she would give me the chance to recount my experience for her.
I don't know where I was going with this entry, but I think it's gone, so I'm going to bed. For real this time.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23