The ONLY thing about this day that doesn't make me want to grin ear to ear is the fact that it's over.
I really am going to be clinically depressed after this, considering that I literally had the BEST day of my entire life.
So, details.
Yeah, longest day at work in history. I decided to go into work after my 8 a.m. final, which put me there roughly around 9. From 9 until 1:30, when I left, I was essentially useless. But since my job entails answering the phone and opening mail, and an inbred three-toed sloth could do it, nobody seemed to notice.
Yeah, so after a brief stop at Barney Miller's to pick up some drivin' tunes (or as Niki likes to call it, "John Mayer Road Trip Goodness), we hit the open road.
So, the first priority was to get some food. Matty and I were STARVING. We pulled off the expressway (interstate, whatever) and found that our restuarant of choice, Arby's, was nearly 2 miles out of the way. We reasoned that this must be a damn good Arby's to be so far away.
Hmm. Well, generally when I meet someone, I have a difficult time noticing any physical shortcomings, unless they are staring me right in the face. And this one was. Well, it was staring me in the face and also apparently keeping an eye on the drive thru, to my far left. Yes, the man behind the counter was so incredibly cock-eyed (haha, I said cock) that I had no idea if he was talking to me or to the man at the next register when taking my order. AND, and, and, and, he grabbed his nutsack while taking my order. I swear it, people. You can't make this stuff up.
So, once we were nearly full, we traversed to the land of milk and honey. Or Cinnabon. Whatever you want to call it. I'm sorry, there are few foods in my life that make me feel as warm and happy as a cinnabon.
Just think about it for a minute.
Oh, God, I wish I had another one.
Back to my story, after our religious experience with food, we decided that it was time to head to Ear X-TACY, which is where the first concert of the eveing was to be held. Haha. We are uber smart. We drove up and down the same road AT LEAST 4 times trying to find the damn store, and when we finally did, the line out the door was enormous. And chock full of teenyboppers, too.
Oh, this whole thing was for John Mayer. Did I tell you that? It was.
So rather than wait around, we decided to park instead and walk around this charming little street. By this time, I was exhausted, as I'm sure my traveling buddy was as well, and disappointed that we couldn't see Johnny, we became rather hostile towards the poorly dressed folk of Louisville.
The best quote of the evening: "Hi, size small called. It said, 'ouch.'"
The second best quote of the evening: "I do the white boys."
Both of these quotes brought to you by the brilliant mind of the pseudo-gay boy wonder known to us all as Matty.
So on to the concert.
Yeah, so after waiting in a line out the door and down the street to get into Jillian's, we finally arrived at the ticket-taker inside. Matt handed him his ticket, and the man was suddenly extremely stern. He asked where he got his ticket, and accused him of copying it. My heart literally sank to my stomach. We came all this way and no John Mayer? But alas, we would not be beaten down by whitey and his mind games.
They let us in.
At first, I didn't think the crowd situation would be a big deal.
Good God Damn, I was so wrong. We had some extremely old man on one side of us, who wouldn't shut up about all of the DMB concerts he went to back in 94 or some such, inappropriately rubbing his ass on mine AND Matty's, which in and of itself is an accomplishment, I guess. On the other side was this couple that was so interested in groping each other that they didn't seem to notice that they were elbowing me in the boob every 2 minutes.
Ow.
All the while this magic was going on, we were constantly being pushed around and contorted into various positions to allow the most freakishly giant children to pass us on their way to stand directly in front of us.
No lie. Where are they growing these children? Stop breeding your children to be so large!
Go die people for big. Leave me alone.
So we suffered through what I am certain is the kind of music they're going to play in Hell when I'm being forced to make study guides for work and listen to Chewy all day long. It was SO horrible.
Then we stood in the dark for a good 30 minutes, surrounded by children who were all so young that we figured they had been dropped off by their parents beforehand.
FINALLY, Johnny took the stage. And for all of our senseless bitching, it was completely worth the wait. He played every single song I could've wanted him to play.
On top of that, he played a little snippet of Ashanti's "Always on time." And, people, get this! In the middle of one of his songs, he busted out with a little "Girls just want to have fun," AND "Let's hear it for the boy," which, for me is a total throwback to QAF.
Or Will and Grace ("By the end of it, I didn't really want to hear it for the boy." - Jack).
Where was I? Also, we were treated to a brief rendition of "My Buddy." From the commercials. Yes. I was waiting for "Kid Sister," but that never came to be.
But the highlight of my entire evening was when, preceded by a story of meeting a girl on the internet when "AOL wasn't creepy," he played my absolute favorite song ever, ever, EVER, which is called "Love Soon."
If you are going to download a John Mayer song, make it this one. I'm not kidding. I just absolutely love it more than I can even express.
It's not on the Room for Squares cd, so he rarely plays it at concerts.
People, I was shaking. I had spaghetti legs. You would think I was having an all-night orgasm. I thought Matty was gonna have to pick me up off the ground, although, considering that he also loves that song, he was having problems of his own.
Ah, God bless music that moves your body in such a special way.
We both bought 2 t-shirts. Hey, it's not everyday that you get the opportunity to buy concert memorabilia. Or we are whores.
Whatever.
Finally, you all should be informed of a Chinese restuarant in Louisville, known as "The Egg Roll Machine Chinese Cuisine."
We drove past it at LEAST 9 times.
Someday I'm gonna go back there and eat at it.
And the best part is that the Johnny experience isn't even over yet. We're still going to Pepsi Jammin' on Main on May 10th, which is in less than 2 weeks!
Anyway, I'm going to head to bed. I am so completely and utterly exhausted that I don't even have words to describe it. Before I go, I must send a giant, huge, big, big, biggest THANK YOU ever to my buddy, Matt, not only for introducing me to Johnny in the first place, but for making the whole trip awesome. And for that whole driving thing. Yeah, that too. I just know that it wouldn't have been nearly as fun with anybody else. Thank you SO much, kiddo.
Love you, love everything about you, thinkin' about being you for Halloween.
After we get an apothecary table. From the days of yore.
Goodnight everyone! I love you all! How could I not? Life is splendid. Well, except for that whole 8 a.m. final tomorrow morning that is going to rip me open and make me cry like a baby and say its name and call it "Big Daddy."
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23