The uterus loves Monty Python.
The uterus is at odds with everyone today:
The uterus is at odds with my job. The powers that be have named me the official "fax girl" today. I didn't quite know how to tell them that I was in no shape to stand all day over the fax machine while my uterus contorted itself into many various cramperous (that's MY new word) positions in my body.
The uterus is at odds with my center of gravity. Some extremely nice guy held the door for me this morning and rather than walking gracefully past him like someone cool, I tripped over nothing and fell right into him.
The uterus is at odds with my stomach. It demanded fried food for lunch and my stomach is not happy about that. What it really wanted was some Tolly Ho, I think, but there's just something wrong about going there by yourself in the middle of the day. That's just ASKING for an assraping. It's better to go at night with all the other freaks.
Finally, the uterus is at odds with my sense of reason. Gina's barely been gone for 2 days and I went insane last night. I rearranged my room and cleaned some more. I really have been feeling neglected and abandoned lately. Especially since I had to go through so much anticipation and stress involving graduation and Gina moving out and Becky moving in, and now neither one of them are around.
Matt did his best to take Gina's place last night, loudly asserting that my bedroom was a wind tunnel and asking why he didn't have a boy. I must express my gratitude for that - it was certainly helpful, at least in taking my mind off of it for a little while.
The whole thing started when Gina called last night to ask me to get her mail. She and Susie were on their way out to "Trailer Park Tuesdays," aka dollar drink night at the Puke-A-Tan.
If I enjoyed getting molested by drunken foreigners and mulleted winners, I would be quite jealous.
Matt, tonight you must call and beg me to go out with you so you can "make a friend." Also, when I say no, pitch a fit about how I go out with everyone else.
Please?
Finally, to lighten the mood a bit, I thought I would share with you some of the things I have read while opening the mail:
"I am in danger of graduating. Please grade my assignments as soon as possible."
(Haha! In danger of graduating! Perish the thought!)
"Dear Teacher, is it okay if I us a pen?"
(How on earth do you "us a pen?")
and my personal favorite,
"I thik iv got this speeling stuff. can i take the test no."
(That one stands on its own, I swear)...
I am SO not gonna last until 5.
P.S. The director of the department said this to me today: "Oh did that fax go through to Japan? Great! Super good." Super good, yeah.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23