My mom kicks uber-ass. I would tell her this, too, if I were allowed to say "ass" around her. I'll tell her she kicks uber-hiney.
Not really the same thing.
Anyway, she bought me a fucking printer! Printer, people! Do you realize how happy this makes me? Mine has taking to shitting ink all over my papers, and I have to always print out at least 5 copies to determine which one is the least sheisty.
But...a new printer!
And I didn't think my day could get any better until we went into Tar-jay and she told me that she would buy my birthday present early (it's in less than two weeks, people! Aren't we all excited?) so I got a new desk. And not just any desk, mind you. A super cool one.
I would describe it for you, but I haven't put it together yet. I was going to do that last night, but I fell asleep. Oops.
Thanks to Casey, who helped Mom and me bring it upstaris. Well, in all hoesty, Mom followed behind us and laughed while we tried to keep our shoes on. Oh! I cannot wait to put it together. I have the need to construct lately.
The comedy routine of my mother and me trying to put this thing in the basket (it weighs roughly 439.78 pounds) should've been caught on tape, seriously. And then this guy with a Scottish accent came over to help us. Thank you, mister Scottish man! You are super!
Because I'm certain that he reads my diary.
Mom also brought me this quarter's issue of The Ambassador. I know you're all wondering what the hell I am talking about.
Don't get your knickers in a twist, I'm going to tell you!
The Ambassador is the official quarterly magazine of Asbury College, where I spent one year bored to death doing laundry every Friday night or going to the super Wal-Mart in Nicholasville. I have no idea what possessed me to go there my freshman year, except I guess I thought that maybe if I was surrounded by lots of Jesus people they would be nice to me (I used to be painfully shy). FYI: my roommate was a bitch. From Hell, even. I'm not kidding.
There was no cable. No, wait. We got TLC (so every girl at this college would schedule their classes around "A Wedding Story" - yeah, this is MY kind of place - insert sarcasm here) and also we got the "what's for lunch today in the cafeteria" channel. Yes, people there was a cafeteria. Just one.
Lost my train of thought...anyway, this is the issue featuring all of the people with whom I was supposed to graduate! And I recognized SO many people, it was scary. But the best part about it was the speech I got from my mom about "Adam." You kids want to know about Adam? Sure you do.
I went on my first (and at the rate I'm going, the only) date in college with this kid. Well, my roommate, who was a morning person, woke me up at 6 that morning. Being a "night owl" myself, I had gone to bed at 2 or so the night before. I was tired. We had dinner and went to a movie. By the way, I had thought this kid was beautiful. Sometimes I think boys are beautiful. Not handsome, not cute, but beautiful. It's rare, but it happens. Beauitiful. Anywho, by the time the movie was over, it was after 1. I was even more tired. And cold.
And when I get cold, I get sleepy.
He lent me his jacket so I could wrap all up in it and be cozy, and, well, I fell asleep. Not only did I manage to fall asleep, but I managed to drool on his jacket.
What a stud.
Needless to say, there were no more dates for Alyssa and Adam.
But mom yelled at me for "ruining" a date with someone beautiful. Did I mention he was beautiful? Mom even thought so.
Last night, we rented "Lost Souls," which I was expecting to be as terrifying as "The Exorcist." Not so much. And I think you're right, Casey, Winona Ryder definitely got less and less attractive as the movie progressed.
So no nightmares for me. Oh, how sad.
Here's a question: Do I give off the vibe that I NEED to know where my friends are all of the time? Oh, yes, please call me and tell me you made it to the store okay, I worry so. Granted, I am very protective and possessive of the people in my life, but seriously. You are all adults. I do expect that you can take care of yourselves, honestly.
It's shower time for me. I am stanky.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23