I actually did manage to speak rationally with my parents about the whole thing. After determining that I could, in fact, make it on my own (I am impressed with their confidence in my ability to land on my feet - wish I was that self-assured, but I digress), Dan snatched the phone away and started listing all the positive things about not living with Shelly.
No deranged boyfriends threatening to mow down the entire apartment complex for teasing him.
No awful decorating ideas. I'm amazed that the girl spent several semesters as an interior design major, and managed to decorate OUR apartment with sombreros on the wall.
No God-awful shower curtains from the Dollar Store.
NO CAT MATS!!! The girl has a mat with cats on it for every season. Trick-or-treating cats. Caroling cats. Cats dressed up as the Easter bunny.
If I want, I can display pictures of MY grandparents. (Who ARE those people in my apartment??)
And best of all...
No...more...plants!
So, once Dan got over his excitement about my living on my own (he's been pushing for this for quite some time) he handed the phone to my mom. I told my mom my new theory, which is that my life really IS becoming like an episode of Sex and the City, without the sex. Well, and the fact that I don't live in New York. And I don't have all those great shoes. But anyway, it's similar, I promise.
Her response: "Lyss, we wouldn't know about that. We don't get HBO here. Although, we DO need more cereal."
For those not trained in the way my mom thinks, that was a logical thought progression.
I know, it's enough to make you bleed from your eyeballs sometimes, trying to figure out where her mind is.
The funny thing is, I was just at their house. The LAST thing they need is more cereal. They have 6 unopened boxes on top of the refrigerator. That's not even counting the OPENED boxes they keep under the sink. They could be out of everything else in the world, including milk, but they will always have cereal.
And rice krispies treats.
I'm going to bleach my hair. Bad idea, giving the uterus the authority to shop for hair dye, but I figure this way I won't back out of doing something crazy.
My new thing is eyebrows. Forget my lips. I can live with my lips. I don't like my eyebrows. Maybe I'll put some stripes in them or something. That would be super. Or I could shave them, like that kid in Kriss Kross.
I'm gonna make you jump, jump.
The best song ever written was "Africa" by Toto. I dare you to challenge me on this.
Also, I can't get enough of "Feel Like Makin' Love." I listen to it every morning. It's gonna be my new karaoke song.
The old one was "I want you to want me." And I would just like to say that I don't think a better song about unrequited love has been written to date.
I'm going to look at apartments on my lunch break. Wish me luck! Adios!
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23