Besides, I came to the conclusion the other day that maybe I DON'T like sex. Like, I like it for about 2 minutes, and then I just kind of want it to be over so I can go tell someone.
That's not healthy.
Okay, but here's a tip: before sleeping with someone, maybe you should try to not be too wasted to fucking remember what you just did.
Or maybe just don't lie about it and "pretend" like you don't remember.
And for God's sake, don't fucking ask me to "keep it to myself."
Maybe if you could keep your little penis to yourself, and NOT hit on my fucking houseplants, you wouldn't be the one in this predicament.
Hmm, should I censor myself in my online diary? Methinks not. I'm done with that.
Also, probably don't request sexual favors from me, once you have already declared that you don't remember what happened. Ugh.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Random tip of the day: Don't wear a shirt that says "We lay all kinds" to the gas station after dark.
Not my brightest idea.
In about 7 hours, Shelly will be moving everything out of the apartment. All of the pots and pans. The answering machine. The vaccuum cleaner. The broom. The garbage can.
I went for a drive tonight to kind of clear my head. Honestly, I couldn't be around while she was packing up everything in my bathroom and kitchen. So, I drove and drove and found myself in Wilmore.
Yes, Wilmore...land of sexual repression and zero alcohol.
Wilmore...the town that shuts down at 10...on the weekends.
That was, singlehandedly, the most bizarre experience of my life.
I haven't been to this campus in over 3 years. I had forgotten that it was a mortal sin to drive LESS than 75 miles an hour on back country roads. Trust me, this is the only time where "Jesus people" become downright rude. I think an old lady flipped me off.
How strange to sit in the parking lot of my old dorm and stare at the reflection of myself in my rearview mirror. I expected to see the same wide-eyed girl with brown hair and bangs, who refused to wear an ounce of makeup because she'd rather be studying. I expected to see the same girl who thought she had the world wrapped around her little finger, her entire life already figured out for her. A girl with a stable financial future, a flawless record, a girl who already knew who she would marry and what she would do.
Because that was the person I had seen looking back at me the last time I was in that parking lot.
What I saw was something completely different. I saw blonde hair, sans bangs, and makeup. But more importantly, I saw a girl who had NO clue about her future, no concrete career plans, no interest in marriage. I saw a person who was cynical and jaded, but more independent and realistic.
You would think I had gone back in time.
One time, Eric came to visit me while he was attending UK, and we sat on the hood of his car and stared at the stars, contemplating who we would be in 4 years.
I think we were both way off.
So, five minutes later, after I had toured the entire campus, I headed back to Lexington.
I went for a drive seeking clarity.
I came back more confused than ever. Nothing is familiar anymore, particularly with my apartment in such disarray.
I guess this is partially to blame for my little rant at the beginning of this entry. I'm mostly just hurt, I guess.
But, Casey, I don't know where I would be right now without you. You are seriously one of the most incredible people I know and an amazing friend. Thank you.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23