Matt thinks that I had a panic attack yesterday. I was getting ready to leave to go on the "apartment crap shoping spree of a lifetime," when I suddenly had this extreme tightness in my chest and I was dizzy, nauseated, and breaking out in a cold sweat. That was freaky.
But it passed and everything is a-ok.
So yesterday...is there a tractor pull going on in Lexington that I just don't know about? Seriously, I know that shopping at Wal-Mart on a Saturday evening is NOT the best way to come across anyone with a modicum of taste, but I have NEVER witnessed so many incidences of "poo-coifs," acid wash jeans, and children with mullets (for the record, I was tempted to call Child Services. That is abuse if I've ever seen it).
It was like they were all flocking towards some giant white trash gathering. Is Lynrd Skynrd having a reunion tour or something?
I don't care what you say, there is nothing I'd rather do on a Saturday night than make fun of other people. Yes, I CAN be that catty.
So, I'm all stoked about making my mother's famous taco salad for the Robin Williams comedy special tonight. Unfortunately, it has been so long since SHE made it that she sent Matt and myself on a wild goose chase for a type of salad dressing that I think must have been discontinued in 1992.
For the record, Meijer's does carry this obscure flavor. It's called Green Goddess.
Frustration during this ridiculous search prompted me to call my parents and leave angry messages on their cell phones along the lines of "Where the hell is this goddess??!!" I'm sure they loved it. Especially because I'm guessing they got them right as they were getting out of church.
Yes, my parents go to church on Saturday nights as well as Sunday mornings.
Sadly, they're not there nearly as often as the rest of my family.
And no, I still have no idea where they went wrong with me. Although, I think going twice a year (Easter and Christmas) is perfectly appropriate.
Why does LeeAnn Rimes get a kick-ass house and I am stuck enduring this ghetto-fabulousity that is my retarded apartment?
Oh, crap! I need beverages. I must be off to the store now.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23