I see my hell as a closet that smells like curry. And my heaven would be an overhead light in my bedroom. No central heating, but I'm all right.
Nobody needs central heating this time of year anyway.
So.
Okay, nuts to Royal Lexington apartments (my former place of residence) because I'm currently sucking on their proverbial nutsack. The extra rude maintenance man is trying to make me pay for him to remove a shelf that was on my wall when I moved in to the place. Sorry, you grumpy old coot. That's $5 you just can't have.
So, the new apartment.
Yay for my gas stove. I absolutely, wholeheartedly LOVE my stove.
Oh, but there's more. So much more.
Perhaps I should start at the beginning, where, on Friday afternoon, the weekend began with a rather embarassing start. See, Matt had so graciously offered to store my, um, toys in his apartment while my parents were moving me out so as to avoid the uncomfortable scene that would've ensued. Anyway, as we're leaving my apartment on Friday to return to the fort, I sling the bag of goodies over my shoulder and suddenly something starts vibrating. I thought it was my cell phone, but I was sorely mistaken. As soon as I realized what it was (and I was the last of Matt, Becky, and myself to realize what the noise was), I screamed and dropped the bag to the floor. Seems my "silver bullet" was eager to begin the weekend as well.
Let's hear it for the toys!
I PROMISE to stop referencing random songs and changing the lyrics in my diary.
Anyway.
Friday night, if you can believe it, my parents were so ridiculously exhausted that I was the one trying to keep THEM on track. Yes. Anyone who doesn't believe that personality traits are at least in some way environmental should take a look at my family. They are random with a capital Q.
Testosterone levels were overwhelming, to say the least, as "Matt the wonder fag" got to drive a 17' UHaul all over greater Cincinnati. The only casualty, sadly, was a poor mailbox that had to see its bitter demise, only because I needed couches.
Hey, as long as it didn't damage the truck, I'm not saying a word.
My aunt and uncle did NOT disappoint. Not even 5 minutes after arriving at their house, my aunt starts in about some lady at church "manifesting" (this is what she refers to as posession. I wish I knew more about it, but we didn't have that kind of time), and about how she and her sister had to take her through "deliverance." My family isn't Catholic, so I guess they have their own terms for exorcism. If I haven't talked about my crazy aunt before, I'll make it brief by explaining that she believes that all mental illnesses are caused by "demons" and that she has to deliver these from the body of the person and they will be cured.
Ask me sometime to tell you about how she "delivered" some lady from her demon of homosexuality.
They also took us to their new house that they're building (they fully believe that it's "God's will" that they should live in a fucking mansion. Whatever). Let me just say this: My new apartment could probably fit into their bedroom closet. NOT exaggerating.
The rest of the day went fairly smoothly, although I did soon come to realize that even the most "Leave it to Beaver" of families can start to hate each other during such an arduous task as moving.
After my parents left, Matt and I somehow decided that it would be a really good idea to get tanked and THEN try to assemble furniture. There are pictures of this greatness; if you ask Matt nicely, perhaps he will post them.
They're quite attractive.
Maybe once I'm finished unpacking, I'll take an "after." We have several "befores."
The process of furniture assembly spilled over into yesterday, but I finally have an armoir AND a nightstand (that I put together almost completely by myself. Aren't you proud?).
Finally, I MUST comment on this. The people that live directly above me are Indian. This would be of no consequence to me except that their kitchen is apparently directly above my (get this) walk-in closet. Now, I can't frolic in this one like I could in my aunt and uncle's, but I could dance around a little bit if I wanted to. Anyway, the smell of curry is sort of overwhelming in there. To rectify this problem, I bought one of those scented gel numbers.
So now my closet smells like apples and curry. Yum.
The whole look of my living room is supposed to resemble what I like to call "seedy motel meets modern bachelor." In other words, I'm trying to create a very modern looking "sleep -n- fuck motel." Sleep. FUCK.
The bathroom is the crowning achievement in the entire place. There's this god-awful border in it with these race horses on it, and coupled with my navy blue and grey decor and palm tree shower curtain, I have determined that it looks like I'm shacking up with a schizophrenic frat boy.
Yay.
I can't even express to you guys how much I appreciate Matt's help this weekend. Seriously. If he hadn't been there, I would probably still be looking at the pieces of my armoir all strewn out about the bedroom like a sad puppy. Gotta figure out a way to repay him for everything this whole weekend, although I don't know that I ever could.
Anyway, I've gotta get back to being productive here. Oh, my coworkers are freaking MAD at me for skipping out on the comany picnic yesterday. Too bad I never promised to come, AND I'm STILL unpacking. Eh, fuck 'em.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23