Rather than delete my previous entry, I think I'll leave it up for future amusement. Besides, one of these days I'm going to have to accept the fact that it's okay for me to occasionally write an 'angsty-feel-like-I'm-carrying-the-world-on-my-shoulders' entry.
This is something I've been thinking about lately: my mother has always told me that I've got mental illnesses. Apparently she just sort of expected that my growing up in the living situation that I did, it would fuck me up. For as long as I can remember, she has TOLD me that I try to hard to impress people. She's pummeled me with nonsense about depression and codependency and anxiety disorders, and just about anything else she can come up with. Okay, I love my mom...she's really one of my best friends, BUT I just don't think that I'm all that sick. I mean, couldn't it sort of turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy? If someone tells you all the time that you think you are nothing without a man in your life, at some point, do you believe it?
I have no idea...just stuff I'm grappling with. I need to figure out if I've really got issues these days, or if my issues are all a direct result of my mother.
Anyway.
I got 135 emails this morning from some person named SUSAN who really wants me to 'come watch her suck cock.' Geez, talk about desperation.
I am too excited about seeing the picture Erin has in her room of the infamous Dildo Salute. Sadly, I've never seen it, but I'm sure it reeks of patriotism. What? At least it was blue! We really should've had sparklers for that event. I love my country.
My current soundtrack involves Indigo Girls' 'Galileo' (How long till my soul gets it right?) and Duncan Sheik's 'Barely Breathing' (Don't know who I'm kidding, imagining you care) An odd combo, I'll admit, but it works for me. It sums me up in a nutshell.
Help, what am I doing in this nutshell?
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23