Today. Today! I did just that. And aside from the fact that I think my intestines are trying to crawl out of my body via my mouth, I was very pleased with this. They sent me home early, and I had quite the interesting afternoon, in blissful delirium. When I get sick, really sick, I start to make less sense than I normally do. I watched a lot of cartoons. And I called somebody a shithead to their face. I didn't mean it though. And I'm glad it wasn't my mother.
Some kid came to the door while I was watching "Office Space" on Comedy Central. He was wearing this little toboggan, and I thought it was Matt, so I gestured for him to come in. When the person continued to stand at my door, I realized it wasn't Matt, and, since he had seen me, I couldn't very well hide behind my refrigerator to avoid him and whatever wares he was peddling at my doorstep. So, I went to the door, and there was some kid, probably 16 or 17 grinning at me like a moron.
I might add that I was looking oh-so-sexy in my L.L. Bean plaid pajamas.
What? I sleep alone. I have no desire, nor need to dress for success.
Where was I?
So, he starts telling me about some newspaper he really thinks I should have. I mean, he was passionate. And were I not feeling like such a bitch, I might've been coerced into buying a subscription or 7. But, I politely said, "Now is not a good time. I'm really sick and I don't want you to catch this."
He stuck his foot in my door and shoved some laminated something-or-other in my face.
"No, I really am sick. Please, just go away."
He wouldn't heed my pleas.
So, I did what every red-blooded American gal does in such a time. I grabbed him by the shirt collar and tossed him out into the cold. Then I slammed my door shut and stuck my tongue out at him.
I'm the most mature person I know. Really.
I'm suffering from hormonal insanity. Really. There is absolutely no reason for me to be so upset, but yet I had some sort of breakdown tonight.
Also, and I hope to be in a position to go into further detail about this later, I did something tonight that I haven't done in almost 5 years, and I'm extremely ashamed of it. All I can say is that I will probably be coming to some of you soon. Please have me committed. Or just strap me to a bed.
I'm going to bed now. My head is about to explode. And I have a test in non-sex class over 8 chapters. EIGHT!!! The man has not given a single lecture over any, and I mean, any of this.
I'm hoping that all the time I've spent reading "Satisfaction: The art of the female orgasm," "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex," and "The Big O" will aid me just a little, cause I'm not studying.
I mean, really. Eight fucking chapters. In a 200-level class.
Eight.
La.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23