I have a paper due a week from Thursday. One week. Have I started it at all? Nope. It's a paper debating the existence of the notorious "G spot" (I shit you not, people). Unfortunately, to use UK's web resources, you must either A) live on campus, or B) use Netscape, which makes my computer weep uncontrollably. This has led me to try to do my research on my computer here at work.
Let me tell you something, folks. Typing in "G spot" into any search engine will most certainly get you into trouble.
Now my coworkers think that not only am I addicted to the internet, but I look at porn all day long.
See? See? I AM turning into Ted. I should start my own masturbation website.
I also remembered today that one of the local radio stations is playing 24-hour Christmas music. If any of you sass the fact that I'm in the spirit a month in advance I swear to God, I'll drown you in a cup of my Christmas cheer. So there.
And...
AND!
I'm jamming candy canes in your nose!
I think I broke my nose last night. I was trying to bench press my ottoman and dropped it on my face.
La.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23