After dinner, where I had to listen to six girls talk about weddings, families, and boyfriends, I, being the only single person in the room, had had enough.
Espcially since my personal life is currently in the shitter. I feel like I'm in the middle of the longest and most painful breakup of my entire life. Only it wasn't a "relationship" by name to begin with. So it's sort of a renegotiation of terms. And every time a dicussion takes place, I try to express how I feel, only to be yelled at for being too sensitive.
I'm sorry. There are things I need from my friends. Not boyfriends. FRIENDS.
I need to feel important.
I need to not feel like an afterthought.
I need compassion.
I need someone I can be honest with, who doesn't take a statement I make as a personal attack.
I wish I could stop feeling like I need to apologize for the way that I react, and the things that I need. This is who I am. Don't like it? No one's asking you to stick around.
So this kind of thing is not so much in line with hanging out with a bride-to-be, no matter how much I love her. I just can't stop crying right now.
Also, on an utterly unrelated topic, a girl whom I usually adore sent an email to the sorority that was so incredibly bigoted and small-minded that I can't see straight. More on that later.
I lie down now.
Fin.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23