I'm so sorry for neglecting you all weekend, but I don't yet have phone service in the new place, so I cannot update very well, can I?

I'd like to share with all of you how super awesome moving is.

1. U-Haul can lick my hairy scrotum. They can eat me. Much away, assholes. They took my reservation, and they didn't even have a truck for me. If someone had bothered to tell me that BEFORE I was packed up, I wouldn't be nearly as livid as I am right now.

2. My mother and I rented a van from Enterprise. Picture this. Mom and I, both a bit on the short side, taking turns driving the largest van I've ever seen. My mother also doesn't believe in traffic lights, or in staying in one lane. Nice.

3. Once we finally had a van, we had about 45 minutes before Mom and Dan had to leave again.

4. My new apartment already had someone's reject couch in it. I was seconds away from destroying the thing so it wouldn't be so difficult to carry outside, but my landlady brouught some teenaged boys by to remove it for me.

5. During the second trip back to my apartment, I managed to lock myself out. Here's where things get interesting, folks.

6. We tried to call the landlady to let me in. The line was busy. For about an hour.

7. At about this time, Matt gets the brilliant idea to climb on top of the roof to see if he can climb in a window. This is all well and good, but he couldn't open the window.

8. And then he couldn't get down.

9. We finally, in a stroke of pure genius, I tell you, pulled the van around back so Matt could jump on the roof of it.

10. Imagine having a friend who can hold that over your head for the rest of your life. Hi, I climbed on the roof for you.

11. Eventually I was able to get through to my landlady to ask her to come and let me in. Roughly 30 seconds after we called her, a kindly neighbor came by and let me in.

12. So I called her back. Hi, don't hate me.

13. I still haven't heard from U-Haul. This is my public announcement. I will never use them again. If you're smart, you won't either. They're greedy, and they over-promise.

14. Finally, everything has been moved out of the old apartment, aside from some popsicles that I just didn't want to carry. So the new tenents can have a special treat.

I'm tired, and I'm sore, and I would give someone a thousand dollars to rub my back right now.

In happy news, American Wedding comes out this weekend. I've got to figure out a way to pull Casey away from moving HIS stuff (yeah, that's gonna be fun) to watch this fine piece of cinema with me.

I promise to post pictures very soon! Really. And I promise to get a Gold membership soon.

Rub me down. Please.

Fin.

My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23