1. My cat has diarrhea. I suppose it's because he's stressed about adjusting to his new environment.
2. My cat does not realize that he has claws, which, when poking into my skin, are so ridiculously painful.
3. Poo and blood. This is my life right now.
My mother came to visit today, to take me shopping. We bought a microwave and a bookcase. And underwear.
Hi, underwear. Which goes with the theme of home improvement.
Ahem.
Whem my mom left, I suddenly missed her terribly. I'm hoping that these roller coaster emotions are only temporary.
I'm feeling extraordinarily ambivalent about the end of the summer. One one hand, being able to tell people that I'm a grad student will be fun. And actually being a grad student will be fun. I'm honestly looking forward to studying something that doesn't involve double-blind research designs.
On the other hand, the end of summer means the end of a lot of things that I'm probably not ready to let go of right now. Most notably, the fact that my day is over at 5, regardless of what else is going on. I don't have some project always looming over my head. And I can actually work full-time. I like money. It comes in handy.
Also, and I'm a little bit hesitant to put this in here, so if your name is Casey, kindly click on the x in the upper right hand corner. Thanks.
Is he gone?
Who am I kidding?
Apparently, we reached some sort of agreement that things between us would be over at the end of summer. This is an agreement that I'm sure is much easier for him to make considering the following:
1. His feelings towards me apparently don't extend beyond the realm of friendship (a point that is not really the most fun thing to be reminded of almost monthly).
2. He will be surround by something like 200 intelligent women. Originally I had guestimated this at roughly 50. I'm so glad he took the time to point out the error in my judgement.
3. I will be surrounded by about 13 women. And 2 men. Who are gay. Go me.
I'm a little bit frustrated, I guess because when this all started almost a year ago (I'm soooo healthy. No, seriously), and I was confused as to why every other woman on the planet was okay to date but me, the response I got was, "I couldn't just DATE you. It would have to be something serious. And I can't do that when we're both going to grad school somewhere else."
Point taken.
But now, because of whatever kinds of glitches have arisen, we're NOT going to grad school in seperate towns. Now, if my head actually ruled my heart like it's supposed to, I'd be able to say, "okay, then. I suppose the real reason was because it just shouldn't happen right now."
Instead, my heart is screaming things at my head (and the rest of my body, or something), like, "Hey, stupid! You stink! It was never because he couldn't just date you. He just didn't want to. You're stinky, unattractive, and covered in scrathes. Could you do something about that?"
And, see, that's not so good. And with every day that passes, the knot in my stomach gets a little bigger, that whatever I have, even if it is just some sort of sure thing that someone finds me desireable enough to fuck, I'm not going to have it anymore. Does that make sense?
My kitten is asleep on the paper tray of my printer right now. That's fucking precious. Too bad he's ruined my desire to eat peanut butter for a while.
Fin.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23