Also, they have employed a gospel choir to sing "Right Here, Right Now." My head hurts.
Something about spending time in the home improvement section of our local superstore always causes me to believe I have some sort of mechanical inclinations, and I desperately yearn, for the better part of an hour, to build myself some shelves.
Prancing through said home improvement section waving a tube of eyeliner like some sort of ceremonial baton garners absolutely no respect.
Oh. Also, I bought myself a space heater. Because, dammit, I want to be able to be warm, even if I have to get that way by sitting about 5 inches from some electrical device, most likely showering my skin with various toxins.
Evidently, a school in North Carolina has funded a study in which they learned that women who perform fellatio and swallow have a 40% less chance of develping breast cancer.
This is my new pick-up line, and it STILL isn't working. Some people are just selfish. Who DOESN'T want to help me reduce my risk of breast cancer? You people are mean.
I would like to never again hear the following songs on the radio, if someone could get on that:
"Picture"
"Love me when I'm gone"
"Unwell"
Editor's note: Actually, anything sung by Matchbox Tweny. Those bastards get more air time than commercials.
"It's been awhile"
Editor's note, part two: I hate the word "awhile." It's A While. People who combine the two are just lazy.
"Big Yellow Taxi"
I think that should do it for a while.
See? A. While.
I had a dream that I went to a massive kegger at some church that Kyle was throwing, where I gave Tony Soprano a blow job, and he gave me crabs, and white-chocolate-covered frogs. Also, in the same dream, Matt and I had to share a bathroom, and I got stuck trying to conceal a gun in my boobs. Casey was desperately trying to find the girl with whom he'd been having really disgusting cyber-sex, in which they did not talk dirty to one another, but instead threw around legal terms. I'm not entirely sure how I knew any of this information.
I'm very hungry, and I just don't foresee myself putting on pants long enough to go to the grocery store today.
Fin.
My apologies and a farewell??? - 2005-10-20
It should be Friday somewhere. - 2005-10-03
It's Friday again! - 2005-10-01
Amendment to previous entry... - 2005-09-26
Longer than I intended. It's to tide you over for another week. - 2005-09-23